It had been a month or so since his father had died, and we took every opportunity to be with each other. He would call randomly and meet me at Lover’s Point, and tonight was no different. Gunther called and asked to meet right after dusk. He was already on the bench overlooking the cliff when I arrived. There was something…off about his posture. His shoulders were slumped, and his head was bent down. “Hey you.” I called to get his attention before I sat next to him. He looked at me. Tears were dried on his eyelashes – it was then that I knew why he called me. She had set a date. I didn’t say anything before leaning in and kissing him. His lips quivered, but he didn’t pull away. We lost ourselves in each other, like there was no tomorrow. I ached to go further than kissing, but I knew we couldn’t.
Finally we pulled apart, it was time to get this over with. “I know why you called me.” I sniffled and bit my lower lip to stop the tears. The numbness started to take hold and my mind was screaming for me to just run away. The last time I had felt like this was when my mother died…I was already grieving Gunther. My heart was aching, preparing to break.
“I didn’t think it would be this hard Gwen.” His voice cracked. “I thought we would have more time…I guess now that I’m a lord, Cornelia wants to seal the deal before I get cold feet.” Anger rose in his tone at the mention of Cornelia. I nodded and tried to remain calm. I looked down at my lap just in case the tears fell when I could muster the courage to ask the important question.
“Wh-when are you getting married?” My breath hitched. I hated myself for feeling so weak. I hated myself for falling in love with him. I hated myself for not leaving before.
“In six months. August fifth.” That’s when the tears finally fell. August fifth, that was the day we first met in the glade. All I could do was stand and walk away. My chest felt tight and my legs felt so weak. My heart was shattering into a billion little pieces.
I hugged myself, trying to keep myself together. It was far too much for me to handle and the tears kept falling. I heard his footsteps behind me then stop in front of me. “Gwen, please say something.” His voice was as broken as I felt.
“I don’t know what to say.” I managed to speak. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to lash out and tell him how much I hated this. But this was not the time for anger or fighting, this was the time for mourning and good-bye. He covered his face. I could hear that he was crying too.
“I love you Gwen. For the rest of your life, I’ll love you.” Even though it was muffled by his hands, I heard him clearly.
“Don’t.” I pleaded. “Please, don’t.” Even though I was breaking, I needed to make sure one of us was happy. “Live your life. Try to love Cornelia. Please don’t waste your life loving me.”
We embraced. It was a long embrace with a lot of crying and I love you’s. I memorized how his arms felt around me: Safe, warm, and possessive. I memorized his smell: Fire, whisky, old books, cedar and cinnamon. I memorized his ‘I love you’: The way his chest rumbled, the way it made me feel, the truth behind those words. Once I was done, I kissed his cheek and brushed away his tears with my thumb. “I love you Gunther, more than I’ve ever loved anyone.” I lay my head back on his shoulder. “Thank you for changing me. And I sincerely hope you have a good life.” I heard and felt his inhale, the same inhale he did before he was going to say something. But before he could say anything, I left in a cloud of black mist. I regretted not staying to hear what he had to say, but I knew if I did stay I would break down and never leave.
My emotions were so unstable that I was thrown out of mist form and onto the stone driveway. I landed on my hands and knees, scraping my palms and scuffing my shoes. I tried to stand but failed…I couldn’t make it back to the castle on my own the way I was. As I kneel there, I felt my very soul ripping in half. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. My tears were dripping to the stone below, seeping and staining. I continued to cry in that position for…I don’t know how long. It felt like an eternity. It wasn’t until I started sobbing and screaming that Yuki came out to get me.
She helped me up to my room with no questions. She left me alone with a bowl of plasma fruit, knowing just what I needed. I drifted in and out of sleep. Drifted between silence and sobbing. I thought about him, and what life would’ve been like if it had all worked out. I thought about that day in the glade when I met him. I reflected on our relationship and the time we had together. It was then that I finally figured out why the fairies brought us together. He showed me humanity in all ways possible: love, companionship, friendship, trust…hurt and heartbreak. It was what I needed, and despite this heartbreak…I felt free.
Finally, I was able to succumb to the darkness.
AN: This is the last chapter of this part. This isn’t the end of the story though, it’s just the beginning!
Thank you for reading and sticking with me and Gwen! I knew how this was going to go from the very beginning, and believe me…I feel like a monster. The next chapter is the chapter that started this whole story and it’s gone through so many revisions…but I’m happy with it!